Disappointed

who can this boy blame but himself.
after all the confidence that was being built up over time, when is time to show it, he couldn't do it.

Not the first time, wont be the last time, and only happens when huge expectations are required. Disappointed in himself and disappoint others as well. No matter how much practice/training you had, only the best will survive on the field with opponents that will give you no chance at all. They will take every opportunity to make fun of you, to ridicule you, to challenge you even if you are from the same origin. Unfortunately, it only happens to this place of origin.

When it time to do it, the boy has to do it. Matters are worse when someone told you that it is too late.

Boy, time to have your opinion, time to think efficiently and effectively. Does it mean you getting out more often and toughen up? Nothing can be taught. Nothing. Experience doesn't count unless you show your experience gained. Something is hindering you, maybe is your way of thinking, maybe is your character, but something gotta changed in order not to let you feel shit.
Higher expectations, higher disappointments. I feel sorry for you for always, always not lifting up to expectations when it matters most.

How? the boy would ask. How to satisfy yourself and the people around you? How to handle the pressure that people are waiting for you? How do you handle the looks in their eyes? Is hard not to live w/o thinking of what people think of the boy? not as easy as what the book says.

The boy is disappointed, the boy is not thinking right and he is not speaking right as well? what should he do? He's back into his own shell. Doesn't like it. He's in a dilemma, should he get more shits before he will learn.

Speech, Reaction, Mentality > he can never get it right.

=(